Counting my blessings

Mom.

Mom.

Mom.

Dad.

Dad.

Dad.

Brother.

Brother.

Brother.

Brother (he gets an extra one cos he's kinda awesome in a "I hate to love you, but loathe to hate you" way).

Dark chocolate

Generous people who give/have given me rides to get around this town.

New people, places, experiences.

New ideas.

The chance to make my passion my job.

Coffee to help me keep going.

People who take my drunk calls and talk to me.

Friends who always remember my birthday.

Friends who forgive me for forgetting theirs because they know I suffer from a rare kind of amnesia.

Friends who stay friends no matter how out of touch we are(totally my fault).

Two good feet. As long as I can walk, I'll get somewhere.

This heart which has not given up on love.

This mind that is quick to not give in to love or a notion thereof.

Love. That loves this awkward, geeky, nonsensical, whimsical, misassuming herself to be above emotion, weak fool.

I hate this template

In true womanly form, I got bored of the blog look and decided to change it. Unfortunately, being less techno-savvy than Laloo, I have failed to find a suitable look. Or rather, I haven't figured out how get THAT look onto THIS page. Or for that matter, how to scratch out a sentence - you know, draw a line through it, it looks so cool. But I haven't figured out how to do it yet.

Till then, this is it. Don't get too attached to it though. Like those puppies in my building that were "given away." It hurts to this day. You've been warned.

There is a God and he is watching me

Last night, I really wondered if God hates me. When it gets too quiet up there, he says to himself, "What kind of mischief can I play on my Ruta?"

It’s been a crazy week. Not only has it been hard to get back in the groove after school started, my right brain still seems to be on vacation.

Result – Such dismal creative output that my dignity went ahead and committed suicide.

On top of that, my current art director partner and close friend broke the news that he was taking a quarter off. So now, I am doing a teams class all by myself (did I hear violins in the background? *scratches ears*)

And, then my grandmother (may she rest in peace) passed away after putting up a strong fight against the cancer that was eating her away on the inside. Talked to my family over the weekend and cried a little. Then a lot.

I blocked out the feelings. There was much work to be done. Went grocery shopping for 2 hours. Ate a whole bag of Hershey Kisses. But feelings can be such assholes too. They always catch up and emerge even more intensified than ever. Like someone's dog that i refused to pet decided I was dying for his love and came and slobbered all over my face.

Result – intense crying my heart out session and bitching about how God can be such a mofo.

Talked to a friend who told me the age-old “When God closes a door, he opens a door.” I strongly argued it amidst sobs and gasps. (Note: Now that I think of it, the argument was pretty one-sided.)

Guess God must’ve been hearing and decided to prove he isn’t out to get me after all. I had a class today that I was very poorly prepared for and being the natural worrier that I am, was completely freaked out.

For a while, I even considered hanging myself. Then I realized that would just be lame. And I didn’t have any rope.

But then! I got an email from my teacher who's fallen sick and moved class to another day. Which means I get a whole day to prepare some kick-ass work.

My friend, you can go ahead and say “I told you so.”

Red. Your breast cancer GK just sky-rocketed.

No? How strange. The email said it would happen.

I am referring to the deluge of emails I've received over the last 2 days from many girlfriends... in a nutshell, I have been asked to display the color of my bra in my status, just the color, nothing else in an effort to spread cancer awareness. The logic being, if enough women do it, people will wonder why. Oh, and it will be fun.

What a titillating thought. Use the power of social networking to raise awareness for a worthy cause. But so far, it seems to have been 100% fun and zero awareness.

I absolutely support all cancer awareness efforts. What I don't get is how displaying my bra color brings attention to breast cancer? Is there a "oh game's up, this is what we are upto" status happening tomorrow? Is there a website to direct people to? And, if this message is going out to only women, are men NOT supposed to be aware about breast cancer? Out of all the status updates I have seen, not one mentions that this is being done in an effort to raise awareness. Or was that supposed a secret to be tucked away in your blouse too?

I think there are far more effective ways out there to create breast cancer awareness. Just click on the boob-tube during breast cancer awareness month for a sampling- NFL players wearing special pink uniforms, Kellog's, Progressive etc. with pink ribbons on their products, Walk for the cure... the list is exhaustive.

But hello, this status update thing? It just seems like someone had an idea that they thought was funny/silly and wondered if it would just catch on if guised as "cancer awareness"

What's next? Panty/Boxer color status updates for uterine/testicular cancer?

The shape of your bush to spread the word on ovarian cancer?

Perhaps, whoever started this really did mean well from the bottom of their bosom. I'll wait for the next wave of emails with actual "awareness" information before making that call.

In the meantime, let's think twice before beating our breast…err chest to promote anything, even if it is for a "good cause."

Jan 7, 2009

I have a deal on with a friend that both of us are going to lose 10 pounds by June.

At any rate, I need some kind of physical activity in my life. So I tried out a kickboxing class today. It kicked my butt - I was sore all over by the end of the workout, dread waking up tomorrow.

Would have really liked to keep going to the class but its a 30 minute walk from where I live. And, I don't fancy windburn every time I step out these days..temperate weather my ass!

Besides I have enough walking in my life living as I do without a car.

Apparently we are going to have a snow day here on Friday..more time cooped up in the house. This is just like 3 years ago, all over again! As if i never left the midwest, ha. Guess it's back to reruns of CSI and Law&Orders. Can't wait till new seasons start..next week hurry up and come please!

Oh joie de vivre of oh ten willz not end!

2 days ago, I was watching the Boise State(Boise is not a state, but I digress) game and saw this:

You laughed your ass off too, didn't you?

Well, turns out this chica is actually blind.

Hell has a special place reserved for me. And, you're coming along.

School officially started on Monday. I have classes back to back from Monday to Wednesday. That roughly translates into I'm fucked. But Monday class got cancelled and Tuesday morning class has no homework. So, it feels like I'm still on break so far. Hell commences next week.

After sitting on my fat ass and making it fatter over the break, I have made a resolution to lose weight. I am not going to talk about getting in shape. Round is still a shape.

Also, have discovered that a 93-year old woman(Clara Cannucciari) has a Facebook account, blog and a Youtube following of 0ver 300,000. I have 3 (Thank you! you are doing a lot for my self-esteem right now. No. Really). Grandma talks about how to make really cheap food. Easy on the pocket type cheap, not low quality. Although, putting potatoes in everything is kind of cheating. Oh, and she talks about the Great Depression.

I have a Great Depression too. Also known as my empty checking account.

Grades come out end of the week. Oh the joy of oh ten.